Miss Information is among the missing
Sometimes the library can't find things. It may be because the thing is
misfiled, in use or has been stolen. In any event when something is missing for
whatever reason, there's a message on the catalogue record that says something
like "this thing is missing--we've looked all over but so far no luck".
Today a man came to the information desk looking for a book. It was about improving your brain. Miss Information was pretty impressed with his brain. He'd actually managed to look up the book in the catalogue and take note of its location. This is better than 75% of the library users could do. Go ahead, laugh. The book was missing. He'd noticed
the missing status on the catalogue record. Miss Information was about to give him a MENSA application form but he continued to speak. The man said that all he needed to know
was where the library kept the missing books. Um, what? Well, you know, where
is the box (or shelf) where the missing items are located?
Miss Information explained the whole "missing means we can't find it" concept and suggested other brain improvement books. This guy just needs a little more help....
Miss Information is annoyed by secretive scientists
Miss Information is fond of scientists generally and she wishes her studies in
library science had been more about gravity and less about metadata. Sigh.
Last night, however she stumbled across a particularly annoying group of physicists. On Friday, Miss Information is often stationed at the teen area, notable because it is visible to all those who are looking for directions. A very pleasant man approached the desk looking for the monthly meeting of physicists. Miss Information has the schedule for the library meeting rooms and for the big city facility in the mall and the meeting wasn't in either of those locations. That only leaves the hotel, the rec centre, the civic centre, the cricket club, and the lawn bowling clubhouse--and a thousand other potential meeting places.
Miss Information decided to google for more information instead of sending the nice scientist on a wild goose chase. It was quite easy to find the physics group website. It had a very nice description of the meeting and suggested that all interested people were welcome. It also said that the meeting was to be held in a top secret location that would only be disclosed to those who RSVP'd. Well, that's friendly.
Fortunately, they also provided fairly precise directions to the secret meeting location so except for the actual room number Miss Information was able to tell him pretty much where the meeting was. She suggested he lurk around the lower level of the civic centre until he overheard someone talking about the theory of relativity.
Miss Information is annoyed by a teacher
A customer came in to pick up a DVD she'd put on hold. Miss Information scanned the card and discovered the DVD was not available yet and that the woman was number 4 on the waiting list. Sometimes people misunderstand the library website, so Miss Information showed the patron her account and explained that a hold is only available when it says "ready to pick up". Otherwise, it isn't, you know, "ready to pick up".
The patron was desperate, though. Would the movie be ready on Friday? She was a teacher and needed to show the movie to her grade 12 class. Miss Information noted that the teacher was number 4 on the waiting list and that Friday might be optimistic.
The woman went off to check the library catalogue. She asked if Miss Information could place another hold on the Leafy-Neighbourhood Branch copy of the movie. "It's due tomorrow!"
Miss Information repeated that there were 3 people ahead of the woman so even if that copy of the DVD was returned tomorrow, it would go to one of the other people because they'd been waiting longer.
The teacher accused Miss Information of being obstructive and pulled out her fancy phone to call the other branch where surely, they would help her.
The other branch basically said the same thing. The woman came back an reported that to Miss Information but mentioned that she didn't understand the waiting list thing. Why should people who needed the DVD have to wait for people who just wanted it? Sure those other people had been waiting longer but that didn't matter to the teacher.
Miss Information was just grateful the woman taught grade 12 and not kindergarten where waiting your turn is kind of a significant concept.
(NB: Miss Information is descended from a long line of teachers so she appreciates the awesomeness of most of them.)
Still not a mind reader
A woman approached the information desk armed with a call number typed into her iPhone. Miss Information hates when people do that, she's probably just jealous of their fancy phones but whatever. Because the library is big and complicated sometimes people cannot figure out where to go for the books. It is even more complicated because sometimes the computer system just flat out refuses to give hints and says unhelpful things like "returned". Well, ok but when was it returned and which floor did it go to when it was returned?
So that was the problem. Fortunately the circulation system is more cooperative and will provide those details to Miss Information if she asks nicely. However, the circulation system always puts up a fuss when you need to use a call number so Miss Information asked the woman for the title of the book. The title is Biology. Was there a subtitle? No. Did the woman know the author's name? Nope. Does the woman have any idea how many books called Biology there are in the library? Clearly not.
At this point Miss Information looks at the iPhone and realizes that the call number isn't the usual one for biology but is more of a business number. Oh, yes says the patron. It's about marketing. Miss Information mentions that biology is an odd name for a book about marketing.
"Oh," the customer replies, "it's spelled BUYology."
And again, Miss Information is left wondering why her psychic skills are so useless.
Miss Information is annoyed by blockbuster films
Ok, people who want to read The Hunger Games, don't act so surprised that you have to wait for it. You saw the movie and decided to read the book, right? Well, so did everyone else, so no. Actually, the book isn't available right now, ok?
Miss Information is annoyed by the gym
Miss Information loves the gym. It is super-extra-annoying to be annoyed by it. But annoyed she is and so she came home and immediately logged on to her neighbour's unsecured wifi to complain about it online.
Every Monday, Miss Information goes to the step class at one of the city's recreation facilities. It's a big centre with a ton of stuff--a basketball court, a couple of swimming pools, a weight room. Miss Information comes for the step aerobics class. There are two locker rooms and for the past decade Miss Information has used the one closest to the fitness studio--mainly because the other one seems to always be full of naked women who are standing around blocking all the lockers. The other change room is designed better. There is a bank of lockers close to the door that is always accessible so when Miss Information has to lock something up that's where she goes.
She really only uses the locker room in the winter when she has a coat to put away, so tonight she did. She then went into the step class where she was stuck for an hour behind a novice stepper who was consistently precisely one beat off. Miss Information wanted to hit her. If you are one beat off, you can sure as hell be on the beat. Just stop for a moment and get back on track! It's not that hard!
In any case, the class ended without making Miss Information feel any more relaxed. She went to grab her coat and discovered the locker room was locked. Huh. There was a sign on the door but it was about a change in the aqua fit schedule so that was no help. Miss Information went looking for assistance. She went into the weight room where she found a staff member and explained the problem. The staff member assured Miss Information that it was entirely her fault because "we always tell people not to use that change room". Miss Information assured the staff member that no one had ever mentioned that to her because if they had she would not have left her stuff in there.
Even more annoying, this particular staff member was the one checking memberships at the door tonight. Miss Information walked past her while wearing a coat, went into the wrong locker room and came out again without a coat and the staff member didn't say a word about it. In any case, the staff member now directed her to yet another staff member who could unlock the door. So, Miss Information ran around and finally found the right person with the right key who also told her that she should have known about recent thefts in the facility and should have known that she couldn't use that locker room--a locker room that was open and had no signage indicating that it would not be open later. Miss Information politely informed her that she was here for step class and not a meeting of local clairvoyants.
When they returned to the locker room there was a group of people who had also been locked out of the locker room and who were also not psychic.
Miss Information understands that things happen and that policies change but she feels that there should at least be some attempt to let tell people what's going on.
Why Miss Information doesn't get paid enough
There has been a lot of discussion in the media lately about overpaid public service employees and their glamorous lifestyles. It's true, Miss Information
does occasionally spring for premium ice cream but it's mainly so she doesn't go insane. Working with the public is no picnic, you know.
This week a very nice woman asked Miss Information to reserve a book for her. The name of the book?
Do It Yourself: a Step by Step Guide. Here's what Miss Information did. She refrained from any sarcastic remarks and placed the hold for the woman, who probably could have done it herself.
And that is why Miss Information deserves every cent of her pay cheque this week.
